Patience + My Struggle

{Lemons to lemonade anyone??}
{Lemons to lemonade anyone??}

Hey everyone.

I’m sure you can tell by now that I’ve been MIA for a minute. I didn’t post on Friday or Monday *hangs head in shame*. The truth is I’m still trying to get a good gauge on when I should be posting and on top of that I found out that my theme I had previously was NOT having it with me. Boo… ☹️

Yesterday I revamped my theme (which I’m completely in love with) so if anyone is experiencing problems with clicking on links and navigating through the categories PLEASE don’t hesitate to let me know!

 

Okay so today we’re talking about patience. Patience is something that I personally am trying to improve on. That and managing stress, but I already did a whole post on that.

It may not seem like it, but I’m a person who has always struggled with patience. Whether it’s waiting on someone or something; getting easily frustrated with people and situations; even losing patience with myself (not fun).

Lately, though, I’ve found that losing my patience is also related to the stress that I’ve been feeling. When I get impatient about something, it triggers those stress juices to release into my body and then I’m not a happy being, and on top of that I’m susceptible to all sorts of illnesses.

Even with this blog for instance, I got so impatient with the fact that I’m still fairly new to blogging and I’m not where I want to be yet. And that, in turn, stressed me out beyond belief that I couldn’t even commit to what I wanted to get done. I took on too much. I let school be a reason that I couldn’t get anything done with my blog (it’s rough sometimes but you can ALWAYS make time for a passion).

I took on too much. I let school be a reason that I couldn’t get anything done with my blog (it’s rough sometimes but you can ALWAYS make time for a passion).

So here’s some advice: if you feel yourself about to spill over the line between patience and impatience, DON’T.

Just don’t do it. Easier said than done (trust me I know) but if you can talk yourself away from impatience, you’ll thank yourself and be happier for it.

The next time you feel yourself growing impatient with something
(or someone) do these three things.

{Some lavender growing in my backyard}
{Some lavender growing in my backyard}

? Stop and analyze.

Dig deep and figure out what it is that is making you this upset/impatient/stressed/etc. Most of the time we like to blame external factors for our misery or the ways we feel throughout the day and make ourselves believe that the way things affect us is entirely out of our control.

This is what is called having an “external locus of control” [VIA]. Essentially, this means that you let situations control how you feel and abandon the idea that you can control your own life and feelings. It’s normal to have a touch of external locus behavior (mixed in with a healthy harmony of internal locus behavior), but it’s not healthy to be deep into the extreme side of the spectrum.

If you find yourself getting impatient or frustrated with something because you think it’s entirely out of control, then this is something to acknowledge before acting drastically.

No matter what is going on, the one thing you ALWAYS have control over is how you think, act, and feel. No one else controls your mind and wires it to feel a certain way. Changing your perspective about things is a good step to feeling better and less impatient.

Is a situation upsetting you? Are you able to change it? If yes, then there’s no reason to be upset, you just have to do it. If no, then what’s the point of stressing yourself out and being impatient?? Take the reins of your own life. Only you can control what you do and how you feel about things.

Try not to have too much of an external locus!

Otherwise you’ll start having dreams where you’re driving and your brakes don’t work (#me).

{The gnome in my garden really looks like he mastered internal locus behavior}
{The gnome in my garden really looks like he mastered internal locus behavior}

 

? Ask yourself: Is it worth it?

When I ask myself questions, it forces me to assess the situation from a different angle. So ask yourself: Is this worth getting mad over? Is this worth getting sick over? Is this worth crying over? Is this worth the frustration? Is this worth possibly ruining a relationship with someone? Is this worth being able to prove that you’re right about something?

Is getting impatient right now going to matter tomorrow? A week from now? A month?

Most of the time, if I REALLY ask myself these questions in a serious manner, the answer is NO. Absolutely not. And sometimes, if I’m strong enough, the boiling impatience stops right there, and I just calm down. End of story.

If ALL else fails, I go to my mantra, and say, “Let it go. Let it go. Let it go.”

 

? Be part of the solution, not the problem.

A quote straight from my grandfather, who unfortunately I never got to meet. However, his words of wisdom are repeated around my house VERY often. And this is a big one. If you see something is an issue, don’t make yourself part of the issue by getting impatient and acting irrationally. Be a part of the solution.

a.k.a. You can’t douse a fire with more fire ?

Is a loved one doing something that upsets you? I know the initial response might be to yell or get frustrated and impatient, BUT that would be making yourself PART of the problem, right??

Right.

So instead, you must approach things calmly, with cool composure. And then you have a much better chance of that person responding well to you and considering what you have to say.

If you start a conversation off in a way that’s inflammatory, you’re not going to win, and you’re going to make the other person involved upset on top of it. So it’s actually a lose/lose.

✖️ What are some ways YOU practice patience? ✖️
✖️ Do you have a mantra that you say to yourself? ✖️

{With this cloudy weather, it's hard for me to not practice peace + calmness}
{With this cloudy weather, it’s hard for me to not practice peace + calmness}

I’m off to get ready for class now. Gotta paint my eyebrows on (womp womp…). Speaking of, Fashionlush just did a post on DIY brow growth serum?? Has anyone tried it and had results? If you do LET ME KNOW IF IT WORKS!!

XX Girl With No Brows