Patience + My Struggle

{Lemons to lemonade anyone??}
{Lemons to lemonade anyone??}

Hey everyone.

I’m sure you can tell by now that I’ve been MIA for a minute. I didn’t post on Friday or Monday *hangs head in shame*. The truth is I’m still trying to get a good gauge on when I should be posting and on top of that I found out that my theme I had previously was NOT having it with me. Boo… ☹️

Yesterday I revamped my theme (which I’m completely in love with) so if anyone is experiencing problems with clicking on links and navigating through the categories PLEASE don’t hesitate to let me know!

 

Okay so today we’re talking about patience. Patience is something that I personally am trying to improve on. That and managing stress, but I already did a whole post on that.

It may not seem like it, but I’m a person who has always struggled with patience. Whether it’s waiting on someone or something; getting easily frustrated with people and situations; even losing patience with myself (not fun).

Lately, though, I’ve found that losing my patience is also related to the stress that I’ve been feeling. When I get impatient about something, it triggers those stress juices to release into my body and then I’m not a happy being, and on top of that I’m susceptible to all sorts of illnesses.

Even with this blog for instance, I got so impatient with the fact that I’m still fairly new to blogging and I’m not where I want to be yet. And that, in turn, stressed me out beyond belief that I couldn’t even commit to what I wanted to get done. I took on too much. I let school be a reason that I couldn’t get anything done with my blog (it’s rough sometimes but you can ALWAYS make time for a passion).

I took on too much. I let school be a reason that I couldn’t get anything done with my blog (it’s rough sometimes but you can ALWAYS make time for a passion).

So here’s some advice: if you feel yourself about to spill over the line between patience and impatience, DON’T.

Just don’t do it. Easier said than done (trust me I know) but if you can talk yourself away from impatience, you’ll thank yourself and be happier for it.

The next time you feel yourself growing impatient with something
(or someone) do these three things.

{Some lavender growing in my backyard}
{Some lavender growing in my backyard}

? Stop and analyze.

Dig deep and figure out what it is that is making you this upset/impatient/stressed/etc. Most of the time we like to blame external factors for our misery or the ways we feel throughout the day and make ourselves believe that the way things affect us is entirely out of our control.

This is what is called having an “external locus of control” [VIA]. Essentially, this means that you let situations control how you feel and abandon the idea that you can control your own life and feelings. It’s normal to have a touch of external locus behavior (mixed in with a healthy harmony of internal locus behavior), but it’s not healthy to be deep into the extreme side of the spectrum.

If you find yourself getting impatient or frustrated with something because you think it’s entirely out of control, then this is something to acknowledge before acting drastically.

No matter what is going on, the one thing you ALWAYS have control over is how you think, act, and feel. No one else controls your mind and wires it to feel a certain way. Changing your perspective about things is a good step to feeling better and less impatient.

Is a situation upsetting you? Are you able to change it? If yes, then there’s no reason to be upset, you just have to do it. If no, then what’s the point of stressing yourself out and being impatient?? Take the reins of your own life. Only you can control what you do and how you feel about things.

Try not to have too much of an external locus!

Otherwise you’ll start having dreams where you’re driving and your brakes don’t work (#me).

{The gnome in my garden really looks like he mastered internal locus behavior}
{The gnome in my garden really looks like he mastered internal locus behavior}

 

? Ask yourself: Is it worth it?

When I ask myself questions, it forces me to assess the situation from a different angle. So ask yourself: Is this worth getting mad over? Is this worth getting sick over? Is this worth crying over? Is this worth the frustration? Is this worth possibly ruining a relationship with someone? Is this worth being able to prove that you’re right about something?

Is getting impatient right now going to matter tomorrow? A week from now? A month?

Most of the time, if I REALLY ask myself these questions in a serious manner, the answer is NO. Absolutely not. And sometimes, if I’m strong enough, the boiling impatience stops right there, and I just calm down. End of story.

If ALL else fails, I go to my mantra, and say, “Let it go. Let it go. Let it go.”

 

? Be part of the solution, not the problem.

A quote straight from my grandfather, who unfortunately I never got to meet. However, his words of wisdom are repeated around my house VERY often. And this is a big one. If you see something is an issue, don’t make yourself part of the issue by getting impatient and acting irrationally. Be a part of the solution.

a.k.a. You can’t douse a fire with more fire ?

Is a loved one doing something that upsets you? I know the initial response might be to yell or get frustrated and impatient, BUT that would be making yourself PART of the problem, right??

Right.

So instead, you must approach things calmly, with cool composure. And then you have a much better chance of that person responding well to you and considering what you have to say.

If you start a conversation off in a way that’s inflammatory, you’re not going to win, and you’re going to make the other person involved upset on top of it. So it’s actually a lose/lose.

✖️ What are some ways YOU practice patience? ✖️
✖️ Do you have a mantra that you say to yourself? ✖️

{With this cloudy weather, it's hard for me to not practice peace + calmness}
{With this cloudy weather, it’s hard for me to not practice peace + calmness}

I’m off to get ready for class now. Gotta paint my eyebrows on (womp womp…). Speaking of, Fashionlush just did a post on DIY brow growth serum?? Has anyone tried it and had results? If you do LET ME KNOW IF IT WORKS!!

XX Girl With No Brows

Why Stress Makes Me Sick + Ways To Deal

macbook

As I mentioned on Monday, I was pretty sick last week to the point where it was debilitating. Thankfully I’m all better, but the entire week that I spent unplugging gave me some time to think and reassess what I believe to be the REAL cause for my sickness, sinus issues, fatigue, etc.

I’ll get to that in a second. But first, I’m going to tell you why I wanted to write this post.

I’m not trying to sound like I’m exaggerating, but I feel like my body has been taking a hit IN SOME WAY OR ANOTHER for almost a YEAR, whether it’s a sinus infection, my ovarian cyst (that ruptured a few months back and was so much ouch), a cold, the flu, fatigue, lightheadedness, dizziness, migraines, ear congestion, vision fatigue issues, stomach upset, intestinal pain (yuck), rashes (HIVES!!), and so on.

I thought this gave me a reason to be like “poor me” about why I seem to be sick all the time.

NO, this really just needs to just STOP. I took a hard look at myself. I took a look at the past year — really though, I sat on my couch in silence and just thought about all this.

And I found the ONE common denominator that held all these seemingly never-ending ailments together.

Ready?

✖️✖️STRESS✖️✖️

 

Now for some, this may seem obvious, For others, not so much. It was a little bit of both for me, only because I couldn’t believe that stress could have this horrendous effect on my body, at least not to this magnitude.

Let’s go back.

Two years ago I entered into a long distance relationship. It was rough. And really, the word “rough” doesn’t really describe all the different degrees of emotion, anxiety, and most of all STRESS, that an LDR can put you through. I’m talking about the obligatory phone calls for morning and night, the frustration when you can’t take your boyfriend on a double date with your friend and her boyf, the anxiety when you wonder if it’s all going to be worth it when you’re reunited, and all that jazz.

But the fact is that it’s all STRESS. So much stress, and most of it was self-induced (even though I felt like I couldn’t help it).

Also, almost a year ago I was going back to school to start my Master’s program, on top of worrying about my LDR. Going back to school made me feel as if I had to freak out over my future, my goals, my plans, etc. And to some degree, you do have to think about that stuff, but whatever I was doing was completely UNHEALTHY.

clothes

The point is, I was stressed. I felt stressed beyond belief. At times I was stressed that I didn’t have enough stuff to do to fill my day. Then I went to school and felt stressed that I had TOO much going on. I was stressed worrying about Joey and if he was safe up in SF, scared that maybe he got jumped on the walk back to his apartment from work — it was bad.

I would lose sleep because of all this stress I felt like I was being put under, and sometimes I couldn’t even locate what was stressing me out at all!

We all can agree that a little stress (A LITTLE BIT) is good for us. It motivates us to do better, achieve more, and so on.

But too much stress and soon you can develop heart problems, musculoskeletal disorders, ulcers, and even DIABETES (no doubt much, much more). {VIA}

So last week, sitting on my couch, I gave myself an internal pep talk. I laid out every situation I have going on right now, and with each one I said, “Okay, what’s the worst that can happen?” And it turns out, most of the outcomes were NOT that bad. So I figured, why am I so stressed out about it?

I laid out all the things I needed to get done (a bullet journal really helps with this btw) and told myself, “Why are you stressed out about the things you have to get done? Just do them!!” And I did them (sent out emails, wrote stuff down, read my assignments), and I felt BETTER.

I had to seriously take a look at myself and say, “This isn’t what I want,” and start the climb out of that psychological stress hole I had dug for myself. I don’t want to be sick all the time because I don’t have proper coping mechanisms to deal with stress. That’s just plain ridiculous. And I worry about things that I don’t HAVE to worry about. I stress when other people aren’t well or happy. I stress when I think about my future. I stress out about my past.

I’m serious. RIDICULOUS stuff.

For anyone going through this same thing, I want to give you some tips on how to deal with stress. Keep in mind that developing better coping is, sadly, a somewhat new concept for me.

 

✖️Write out everything that you have to get done✖️

Sometimes when I’m freaking out, just writing a list down of what I have to do helps me A TON. As soon as I have it all written out it makes whatever I have to do seem smaller than I thought. Seeing it all written out on a piece of paper just makes things appear not so intimidating. Not to mention, it feels really good to cross things off when you do them. Plus, you might realize that even though it seems like you had 546213685416 things to do, it’s really only 3. Pull stuff out of your head and write it down. Cement it onto paper and it won’t seem so ambiguous and scary and anxiety-making!

 

✖️Meditate on it✖️

Meditating, I’m sure you all know by now, is something I practice ON THE DAILY. It’s a great way to reset your mind, freeze all those thoughts that are jumping around in the back of your head, and just focus on the fact that you are currently (no matter what future or past you’re dwelling on) you are steeped in the present. You are alive and breathing. You have the power to choose from this currently moving present point to do whatever you want to do that will lead you to happiness, whatever that may be.

For easing into meditation, I HIGHLY suggest the “Stop, Breathe, and Think” meditation app. I use it every day RELIGIOUSLY. I literally recommend this app to everyone I talk to when they start telling me about how stressed out or anxious they are.

 

✖️Remove the excess✖️

Okay so let’s say you followed my first bit of advice and wrote down all your to-dos and scheduled events and such, and see that WOW,  you actually DO have 54615651 things going on. This is when your stress can just get worse by writing things down. But don’t let that be the case!!

Instead, start cutting down. ON EVERYTHING.

Say you took on a heavy course load. Is there a class you can drop (provided it won’t damage your record too bad) to reduce the weight of your academic life? (I’ve definitely done this one.)

Do you do too many extracurriculars? Maybe there are a few you can pass on this year.

Just look at your list of things to do and really, REALLY assess what needs to be done THIS SECOND, and get it done. Everything else can take a back seat.

 

Remember: Your health should ALWAYS come first. Especially your mental health.

 

Then, take things further. Are there people in your life that are really not worth the stress they bring? Maybe try to focus your attention elsewhere. Surround yourself with positive people.

Are there too many apps on your phone and you feel overwhelmed just looking at them? Sometimes it’s fun to go minimal. Go through each app and really decide if you actually need it/use it. It’ll help clear out some memory too, which I know we all struggle with.

 

✖️Unplug and take a break✖️

I know I’m throwing it back to Monday’s post, but I’m ALL about taking a day to yourself when you feel that you can truly spare the time. If not, make time. Pamper yourself. Read a book. Turn your phone off. Watch a movie. Take some time to just relax and let your mind wander. You’ll be surprised about the revelations you come to when you just let everything go.

 

✖️Do something with a manageable stress-load✖️

My teacher suggested this to me the other day when I was whining about how stressed out I feel (god I feel so bad for doing that). Whatever it is, it needs to be something that gives you stress that you can manage, and doesn’t have to do with other aspects of your life (like academic life).

For me, I’m thinking maybe learning a language, or diving back into crocheting and working on some intricate blanket patterns (I told you I was an indoor cat.).

But also, managing this blog is another way I can create a manageable stress-load for myself (even though blogging is WAY WAY WAY harder than it looks). I can start learning to take better photos, drafting more posts, tinkering with the layout, learning more about CSS (someone help me please??). The point is, I need to be doing something fun to counteract all the negative stress I feel from other things.

bedroom

I hope these tips have helped you all out a little bit. Let me know what works/what does work for you!

Any stress management tips you’d like to share? Please tell!

ALSO… unrelated, but has ANYONE seen “Narcos”? Recommend? Joey keeps telling me to watch it but I don’t trust his taste in TV shows HA, and I need more people to tell me before I commit.

Talk to you soon! Gitana xx

Why It’s Good To Unplug + Some Tips

birkenstock

Hey hey hey.

I know everyone’s excited about the Pumpkin Spiced Lattes that are rolling in rn (#psl) but what I’M excited about is the Salted Caramel Mocha Frap. It’s the perf blend of every taste I love (chocolate, salt, caramel, c’mon). To me it’s the most underrated drink at Starbs. Really.

AND I get mine with extra salt because I’m a salt fiend.

Today we’re talking about unplugging and I’m going to share some tips with you all.

So grab your favorite Starbucks drink and get ready for this realness.

As you might have seen on my Insta, I’ve been sick for a week. I hate getting sick, but I always get sick around this seasonal transition time. It’s annoying. But it’s a good excuse to just relax and take some time to myself and take a little break from the busy-ness.

Anyways, last week I had a major sinus infection on top of body fatigue and a sore throat (yay).

Funny tidbit about me: My Eustachian tubes (the tubes that connect your inner ear canal to the back of your throat) are smaller than they’re supposed to be. This means that whenever I have a cold or anything, my ears pop and crackle for months and months and months. I’ve had ear infections accompany my colds and sicknesses basically my whole life. 

Long story short, it was really nice to unplug for a week while this sinus infection (which get so bad my teeth get sore) kicked my butt.

And that’s how I was inspired to write this post. I’ve been running my engines nonstop and I think this sickness was a blessing in disguise. Taking the time to unplug has made me realize that unplugging is generally a good thing to do once in a while.

Now by unplugging I’m talking about the fact that I was a little silent on Instagram, Twitter, and of course my blog for the entire week last week. As much as it made me nervous to not be updating you all like I normally do, it felt nice to take some time to myself and not stress out about social media and scheduling posts and things like that.

Also, unplugging is a great opportunity to reset myself and rethink some goals. It forced me to take a step back and look at the different things I had going on, like school and my blog.

It helps to ease the stress when you just LET GO, which is something I need to practice better. Let go and go with the flow.

Also, patience, which I’ll talk about in another post, is something else I’ve been trying to practice, and I think I’m actually getting better!

But there’s always room for improvement right?

So I created some tips for you to implement some unplugging into your life, whether it’s one day a month, or a few days a week!

✖️ Turn your phone off or put it away for a set amount of time per day.

You can put it away for an hour, or maybe even three! It would be a good time to do something for you and ONLY you, even if that means watching your favorite show on tv!

Want to feel accomplished for staying off your phone? Use the “Forest, Stay Focused” app. Read more about it here.

✖️ Decide on a certain time of day that you’ll be on social media and don’t look at it the rest of the day.

I love social media, and it’s hard for me to stay off it. However, when I find that I’m becoming too obsessive over my phone and social media (and normally my eyes will start bugging out from all the glare), I know it’s time to just take a break.

I think I’m going to try to make it a point to check my social medias three distinct times a day for a certain amount of time. Otherwise, I’m going to stress out and obsess, and that’s just not good.

✖️ Designate a day of the month to shut off everything.

Maybe the first Sunday of every month you can schedule to shut down your phone, your laptop, and anything else that might distract you. Drink some tea; buy a bath bomb from Lush and a nice face mask; cook some comfort food; throw on your favorite TV show; and just indulge.

Relax. Unwind. Reset.

Side note: Does ANYONE use an ice roller? If so please tell me if you like it/don’t like it. I’m very interested in buying one. I hear it’s a cool fancy tool to have for days like I’m describing where you just want to unwind and have some “me” time and relax.

What are some things YOU like to do to relax and unwind? Do you believe in unplugging once in a while? Any tips?? Tell!

drink{My Greek Green Tea with Ginger}

I hope you’re all staying healthy as we head into fall. Thankfully I’m doing much better, and have been sucking down tea like there’s no tomorrow.

Talk to you soon!

XX

Gitana

{August Round Up} Excitement For Fall, Stephen King, & Minimalism

Processed with VSCO with a6 presetMy attempt at a couple’s photo {As seen on my Insta}

Hey everyone!

A lot has happened this past month. I went back to school. I started increasing my Bullet Journaling TEN fold. Instagram Stories began and freaked us all out, engaging the Snapchat v Insta war. I started implementing more of a morning routine. I talked to you all about my love for meditation.

Like I said…

there’s been a lot going on.

So here are a few round ups to close the chapter of this August month nicely.

 

ON THE BLOG {THINGS TO READ THIS WEEKEND}

My Morning Routine 

10 Reasons To Read Nabokov 

An Introduction To Bullet Journaling 

Some Bullet Journaling Page Ideas I LOVE 

3 Reasons To Read Bukowski 

5 Productivity Apps To Try 

Some Back To School Essentials

Why Reading Is Better Than Video Games & Movies
(Although don’t get me wrong. I love video games and movies.) 

A Quote To Make Your Grass Greener

My Mini Bullet Journal And Why It’s SO Handy

 

BOOKY THINGS

Almost done with Palahniuk’s Diary novel. I’m really enjoying it and it’s redeeming Chuck a little bit in my eyes
(but not all the way).

I started Stephen King’s On Writing but it’s so dense that I started to feel discouraged instantly. I WILL force myself through it though because I know he has a lot to offer a reader. However, probs won’t finish it this month.

Also I’m super excited for September and October because the fall season is a PERFECT time to start reading some horror books. And who else to read but the MASTER of horror himself??

I have I think almost every book Stephen King ever put out there but have only read about 1/20th of them, HA.

So any King readers out there PLEASE let me know what some of your favorites are and I’ll add them to the top of my list and probably choose them for my next two monthly book pile challenges!

 

♡ INSTA LOVE ♡

This month I’ve followed quite a few people and I’ve been super obsessed with the way their aesthetics look on their Insta pages. It’s quite a beautiful thing when you can master your Insta page’s aesthetic.

Also is EVERYONE on Instagram going to Greece for the summer or what?? Either that or somewhere else just as beautiful. I’ve been seeing a lot of travel Instas and I’ve fallen in love with their photos. AND their aesthetic is dialed in perfectly.

So here are a few Insta accounts who do this very well and are gorgeous to scroll through. Please check them out and show them some love. They’ve more than earned it.

IMG_7259

 

LIFE THIS MONTH

I WANT TO BE MINIMAL SO BAD

I really do. I’m so jealous of those girls on youtube who can just talk to me about how minimal they are and how they can throw half their ish away without even a second thought. Their rooms always look so clean (not like sterile beyond comfort, but clean, pleasant, tranquil).

So I’ve been trying to clean my room with some minimalist guidelines. I followed the Konmari way of folding and went through all my drawers. Now EVERYTHING FITS. It’s great.

Anyways, if anyone has any minimalist tips please share. I would love to know what you think.

 

CAN IT BE FALL ALREADY???

I’m so done with summer.

A little bit you may not have known about me. I used to HATE the feel of fall. I never liked Halloween, I never liked the fact that it was getting dark earlier, and I HATED the orangey glow that the day would have in the fall (between like … 3-5 pm?).

But now I LOVE the orangey glow. I embrace it! I really do! I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the nostalgia of when I used to walk to school and see the leaves change color. Or when I would get home and it would be cold enough to eat a warm meal and have it ACTUALLY warm you up??

You know what the real reason is? I was talking about it with my friend Jasmine yesterday (basically my twin I never grew up with).

The real reason I love fall rn is because I get to wear black, until my birthday basically (March).

Shoutout to anyone who loves black and can rock it. It’s hard to NOT rock black. That’s why it’s the best color right?

But seriously though, fall and winter are when my BEST outfits come out of my closet to play.

Processed with VSCO with a6 preset

 

SCHOOL

So as you all know. I started school at the beginning of this week. Things are going pretty swimmingly (thank God), but I am for sure hitting some stressful snags.

I had a talk with my medieval professor about where does my life go from here basically, and it helped to sort of talk it out with someone who can fill in the blanks if I’m blanking or have questions.

So I’ve become pretty obsessive over the idea of reading old manuscripts. I would really like being able to see an old page of, say, Beowulf that someone from the 600s (ish?) would have written BY HAND. I can’t… I completely nerd out over this stuff.

SIDE NOTE: I found out that in my university’s library we have super super SUPER ancient archived manuscripts. And one of them is a manual… get this — on how to hunt WITCHES.

Cool? Yes. Very cool. Badass actually.

Anyways, after talking with my teacher about all my stresses and worries and ish, I did some research on Medieval paleology. It’s pretty cool stuff. You can map family trees of manuscripts in an effort to find out what’s the closest to the original, why things differ, why that’s important, etc.

OR I can just have the knowledge of manuscript paleology so that whenever I need to do research and my research (say a dissertation in a PhD program) requires some manuscript paleology, I can travel to whatever library I need to go that has the manuscript (God please be England), and with the library’s permission I can study there for as long as it takes me to do research.

Does ANYONE have any experience of knowledge about manuscript paleology and how to get there?? Please please please feel free to share your knowledge with me!

There’s so much to think about but I have to take everything one step at a time or else I’m probably going to implode with thinking.

 

MEDITATION

As I said above, I’ve been stressing. All mental, no doubt, which is where the meditation app comes in handy.

I’ve actually been really trying to meditate as often as I can/need. It helps perform a sort of mental reset on my brain. It’s weird but it works.

Should I do a post on this? Is there anyone out there looking to add meditation to their routine?? I highly recommend.

 

BIRTH CONTROL UPDATE

I’ve been about a month and a half off bc now. I no longer feel dizzy while being in the car, or while out and about.

I can drink now! Before I couldn’t consume alcohol because I was EXTREMELY sensitive to it, and I’ve NEVER been super sensitive to alcohol in my life.

As you may have read in my “Weekend in LA” post, I drank every day that weekend and I was completely FINE.

So I still think it’s going to take some time for my hormones to regulate ALL THE WAY back to normal. I read it could take about three months. So patience. Patience.

Disclaimer: I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, I’m not a doctor and am not making certainties about bc. You should ALWAYS consult a doctor and don’t assume what I’m saying is perfectly right. I’m only speaking from my experience and everyone is different.

 

GOALS FOR SEPTEMBER

I’d really love to get back into language learning. For a hot minute there I was learning German, Spanish, and French, all on Duolingo.com (the BEST online lang learning website ever and it’s FRICKIN FREE). But I stopped for some reason and I didn’t incorporate it into my daily routine anymore. It’s a real bummer but I need to get back on it. It’s ridiculous.

I’d also like to get back into reading Stephen King books, like I mentioned earlier in this post. I used to read King a LOT when I first started out. I’ve read The Shining, It, The Dead Zone, Christine, Carrie, and a couple others, which doesn’t even scratch the surface of all he’s written.

He’s undeniably good at what he does. His characters are very easy to relate to and connect with and BOND with for crying out loud.

His books are frightening to the point that I’ll read something so chilling, I have to take a moment and put the book down, like the frickin words themselves are going to rip my face off.

As always, I’d love to write more of what you guys want to see. So any suggestions you have please send them my way! You can comment on my Insta or DM me as well. You can even Snap me!

girl

I have to do some reading now. For school. For fun. You know.

Have an awesome weekend!

Talk soon!

XX Gitana